Well I'm voting Democrat because I like being told how to live by George Soros as he turns his billions into more billions.
I'm voting Democrat because I think the Bible is such an outdated book because it defines marriage as a sacred union between a man and a woman. In 2008 I should be able to marry another woman if I choose to do so. That's my right.
I'm voting Democrat because I know that all these young thugs selling crack in the ghettos are more dangerous than the white boys selling cocaine and all these new designer drugs and they need to stay in jail for long periods of time. I know this because the Congressional Black Caucus told us.
I'm voting Democrat because these welfare mommas need to be controlled. That's why the Democrats made it illegal for them to be married and have jobs. If they got married and got jobs, they would get off welfare and we won't be able to control them, their daughters or their granddaughters for the rest of their lives. You know Rousseau, the philosopher said, without a working class there is no ruling class.
I'm voting Democrat because the public schools are good enough for these poor black children. They don't need to learn anything, they just need someplace to be for 18 years under our control before we send them to prison for the rest of their lives. You know you can't allow these people to really learn how to read, write and calculate. They just need to think they can.
I'm voting Democrat because we've always controlled these Negroes and always will. First in slavery, then in Jim Crow and now by making sure they all stay with the Democratic Party. That way all we have to do is say the Republicans are for something and they will be against it.
I'm voting Democrat because I want to make money with Al Gore on this global warming thing. I know if we all stick together even though over 5,000 scientists say global warming is not man-made, we can become super wealthy with this Gore plan. We're going to have to spend a lot of it with that Chinese fellow who owns the exclusive rights to the conversion factory, but who cares, we will be rich.
I'm voting Democrat because we cannot allow those Republicans to drill for the oil we have under our land or in our waters (like the Chinese are already doing). If we do that and don't have to be dependent on foreign oil, then our scheme for alternative energy will not work and that's our ticket to ride.
I'm voting Democrat because when anything goes wrong, all we have to do is blame Republicans and we can get away with murder.
And speaking of murder, I'm voting Democrat because they want to give those terrorists equal protection under the Constitution (even though they are not citizens governed by the Constitution). That way the civilian lawyers will have work for a long time representing all those terrorists. Who cares if going to jail is nothing for those who feel that dying in the act of killing Americans is the way to Allah? In fact, we don't really think they want all of us dead, that's just something George Bush made up. You know he and the Republicans were responsible for 9/11 anyway - not the terrorists.
George Soros is the man and cannot have his way totally until the entire Congress and the Presidency is under his control. We got the Congress, now we need to give him the Presidency. And what better way to do that than to have an articulate, liberal Harvard educated, Black man with a white mother become President and make the world think that we have become a progressive party. That's the winning formula.
VOTE DEMOCRAT - THAT'S WHY I AM.
