Are You One of the Three?

Posted on: Sunday, June 6th, 2004 by Janis Erickson

Domestic Violence Continues on.

Are you one of the three?

"One out of every three women have been battered." Quote from the Domestic Alliance for Violence Center.

Being a victim of domestic violence myself, I naturally wanted to learn how to be a survivor of abuse rather than a victim. So, I began the long search to teach myself just how to do that. It was the year 2000 and I had just had an interview with a woman, Kathy, from the domestic violence shelter in a near by town.

At first it was embarrassing to tell her I was being abused. So, I didn't. I asked her questions about abusers. Why did they abuse? What happened to the women that stayed at the shelter? How long could they stay there? Wanting to volunteer to help the shelter, she thought I would be good at going into jails to teach women, who had been abused, how to face the world after they had gotten out of jail.

I thought it was a good idea and she said she would get back to me about it.

During that time period, I had also volunteered on the internet to help women that were being stalked or battered. It was called the Women's Task Force. I read for hours and hours about battered women and domestic violence education.

There were women that wrote me, asking me what they should do about being abused.

These women gave me even more incentive to find out as much as I could about abuse, especially because I was also being abused, but was too afraid at that time to get out, as I was disabled and had little money to live on.

I continued to study online the many sites dedicated to verbal, emotional and physical abuse. I went in for counselling for my issues and learned alot that way. I read books on the subject. How did this affect me? I learned that I did not have to stay. But I still had trouble with the idea of not being able to care for myself and of course not wanting to leave my home and 2 dogs. In December of 2001, I had finally had enough. I called 911 and the police came and took him away. He had threatened to put his fist through my face.

It was ironic, but the same woman I had interviewed from the women's shelter was the same women I called to help get me into the shelter. I got there and was numb for two days. After that, I studied videos and books to help me learn how to recover. I went to the support group there every morning. I stayed for 2 weeks over the Christmas holiday. Having learned alot, also, from the women staying at the shelter.

I know sometimes this is extremely difficult, but at some point women/men need to take some responsibility for their actions.

"One out of three women have been battered." This statement haunts me at times. It also spurns me on to learn more and to help women gain their self esteem, confidence, safety and security back.

God Bless you Richly!

Janis Erickson The Refuge Ministry Jeremiah 29:11

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Articles by Janis Erickson

Title	Published
Journey to Wholeness	08-16-04
Are You One of the Three?	06-06-04
Why Do Women Stay?	04-10-04
The Effect of Domestic Violence on Children	02-01-04
Elderly Abuse	01-01-04
The Heart of a Battered Woman	12-31-03
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness month.	10-02-03
A Program to End Violence and Control
You Have a Right to Be Safe
About the Refuge Ministry
Some Characteristics That Might Identify A Potential Batterer

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