YO HO YO HO...It's The Pirate's Life For Us

Posted on: Friday, May 6th, 2005 by Cheryl Felicia Rhoads

YO HO YO HO...It's The Pirate's Life For UsBy Cheryl Felicia RhoadsIt was my birthday a few weeks ago. And it hasn't exactly been a slow news year..and I really needed a break. So I went to Disneyland just to get away from current events. It was fun... like I was five. I was given both a birthday crown at breakfast and a button that declared in bold print that it was "Cheryl's Birthday!" So, I made the daring decision to keep them both on as I walked around the park (I mean it IS Disneyland, after all!) Yet, I began to notice that occasionally... REAL five year olds were looking at me curiously at me..as if they were thinking, "Get her...why she must be at least in 8th grade!" I understand that concern, when one feels that others should be more mature. That's what I think of the mental age of Congress right now! And so it's exactly why I wanted to get away from the intenet, the pundits and talk radio..for my special day...but then, I just couldn't. A strange thing happened when I was in "The Pirates of The Carribean". All the familiar scenes from that ride began to take on new ominous meanings. The attraction in fact was not a distraction from my politically obsessed world! Everything reminded me of the John Bolton confirmation hearings! First, do you recall that there is the town scene where the pirates are dunking this poor guy in the barrel? Well I began to fume..because that image became a symbolic re-enactment of the Democrats attacking Bolton (and all other Republican appointees.) in my mind. Then the whole exhibit became symbolic of all things DC ! As, I spied a drunken pirate who is braying to a couple of pigs while he bandies his bottle of rum. I just quietly fumed and murmured "Hi Teddy..as I rode by (Look, hop on a Jet Blue out to California and head out to Disneyland..I swear that red faced, bloated Pirate looks just like Senator Kennedy!)Then there is the section with "Brides for sale.?" If you've been there, you will recall there is this wench in scarlet red preening for the rest of the pirates? So, I'm thinking" Barbara Boxer, you little leftist toady, you are just batting your eyes with a come-hither smile to 2008 as you play partisian politics! "But it got worse...as a Republican I was disheartened that some of those who are supposedly my own had been behaving no better! And in fact, some were responsible for hamstringing their own efforts! So, as I came upon the pirates locked in jail sequence of the ride I glared at "those pirates whistling eternally in vain to that dog with the keys to the jail in his mouth"..but the crafty mutt just stares back at them! ( indeed, dedicated Disneyland afficianados well know that damn dog hasn't budged in fifty years! So, I'm thinking that back in DC they are pleading "Here Senator Voinovich...here boy!")Finally, as the boat I'm in, reaches the final bend, I glide past that last set of three pirates who are desperately misfiring back at one lone maniacal pirate. This scrurvy knave is wildly laughing in return and literally shooting from the hip, as he bobs up and down on a cannon. At this point, I practically capsized my small vessel as I suddenly screamed at those three animatrons (ironically, to my right).."For God's sake YOU have the majority...blow that scurvy bum Biden out of the water!" Well, if the five year olds were staring at me before, their parents now just nervously shook their heads..at this grown woman...(I was still wearing my birthday crown, mind you)...as she angrily muttered to herself, shaking her fist all through Disneyland's most beloved of rides. And, it didn't get any better, when I went to Fantasyland. (Come on...it is the ultimate an analogy for the U.N.!) So fittingly, I went on "It's A Small World Everyone" Again, I'm thinking "Sing away you annoying little corrupt puppets of the world ...if only John Bolton can get the chance to do some reorchestrating in here...oh then...you will all be singing a different tune!"Finally I was exhausted.So, I just cruised over to Tom Sawyer Island and dozed off. But, suddenly I awoke to see a kid in a Davy Crocket Coonskin cap race by. He was chasing a pair of small raucus brothers dressed up as Captain Hook and Peter Pan. They were maybe only four and five years old. And do you know, that I actually teared up? Oh sure, perhaps it was because I was born in the 1950's, and I was wistful for the America of that era..that I barely remember...where Davy Crocket reigned supreme. I reflected that back then, when I was that little, there was no such thing as political correctness or the current insidiousness of moral relativism. Maybe I was all misty just because another year had passed. Still, I was sad that...that seemingly saner world was slipping farther and father away...and it all hit me full force in a moment of birthday blues.Yet, the latter was fleeting as I suddenly became hopeful!I realized and reflected to myself "But, that's the real E ticket! Davy Crockett IS the American spirit!" And both Captain Hook (the Dems) and Peter Pan (the Republicans) may have been in Neverland far too long. Hook just wants to get rid of Pan..and take back his power. Still our hero, Peter has his "issues" as he refuses to grow up...he may be forgetting that he's actually defeated the unscrupulous Hook in battle and so now gets to be the leaderof the island. Yet, ultimately, perhaps what they both really need is to have good 'ole Davy Crockett chasing after them to keep both on their toes! Suddenly, then I realized it was getting late and therefore time to go shopping before I went home. I thought I might as well, because I knew after all the real world analogies relentlessly popped into my head...that I'd never make it sanely through the "Alice In Wonderland" ride! I mean after all, there was always an opportunity for that kind of confused reality anyway! I knew I would get up early the next day and do what I always do every day during these confirmation hearings... I read Realclear politics. Yet, now as all the macro concerns bombard me...to maintain my sanity through-out my day...I will softly sing "A very MERRY un-birthday to me! (And to you, too! )And a yo ho, yo ho, for after all there are still eight year old boys dressed up as Davy Crockett..and there is comfort in that. So don your crowns..and full speed ahead me hearties!

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Articles by Cheryl Felicia Rhoads

Title	Published
Hilarious Election 2008 Comedy bit on Youtube written by Renaissance Woman!	05-14-08
Quantum Leaping into FEMA	12-20-05
YO HO YO HO...It's The Pirate's Life For Us	05-06-05
The Night The Pope Told Us To Go To Sleep	04-07-05
Schindler's Wish	03-30-05
The Value of Friends	11-03-04
Outside View: '60s sitcoms and '04 debates	10-16-04
September Song	09-16-04
Republican On The Roof	08-28-04
Outside View: What's That Supposed To Mean?	06-30-04
Yesterday In America	06-09-04
Outside View: To Serve Man	06-06-04
Outside View: A conservative for Arnold	09-17-03
Does Hollywood See the Light?	07-20-03
A Fight for Love and Glory: Good Art vs. Bad Art	06-28-03
Hollywood Proud Or Pouting?	12-01-01
Outside View: Hope restored my faith

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