...sometimes it's the adults who need a lesson

http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/benamon/060911

There is a certain segment of American adults who are so stuck on their children achieving perfection, people who get so caught up in the throes of competition, that they lose sight of reality. In essence, they are a bunch of overgrown babies.

Why "babies" you may ask? Because babies show childish characteristics of fits of rage, and the occasional display of a temper tantrum when things don't go their way.

A fine example of that is the football smackdown of Brian Wood, a youth football player. Cory Petero, an assistant coach for the team playing opposite that of Brian's, rushed the field, knocking over the 13 year old. His stunning reaction was prompted by a penalty called on Brian Wood. What followed was more fighting from the parents and children from both teams. Brian Wood suffered only a few bruises, but I wonder what he and other children are thinking as parents jumped in to fight as well. That afternoon, where were the grown-ups in all of this?

Cory Petero first faced felony child abuse charges, but those charges have since been downgraded to misdemeanor charges. No matter, the cut throat and abrasive attitude is still there in today's competitive society. Where does one learn accountability for their actions, self- control, and fair play? Sadly, it's practically non existent today, and our children are witnessing it and are learning from "adults," destructive ways to solve problems.

Have some of us matured yet?

Some parents are still living out their lives through their children by overexerting them with activities left and right. Ah, if only kids could go back to the days of running around outside, getting dirty, riding bikes, etc. But no longer is that the case. No, competition driven parents want their kids in singing lessons, tap, ballet, soccer, drama, etc., and pretty soon, the kid is worn out, agitated, and the bond between parent and child is strained. All this is because you want your kid to be the best too soon. Let them live first! Let them run around and be a kid. Some of us are stealing our children's early years because we want them to be the next Mia Hamm or Kelly Clarkson.

Passionate mother and author Jaime Lee Curtis recently spoke of the pressures on children today to succeed as a guest on the Today Show with Matt Lauer. Her newest book, "Is There Really a Human Race?" came from that very question which was asked by her 10yr. old son. He further asks Jaime, "Am I in it? Why didn't you tell me? Why am I competing for everything every minute of my life?"

Curtis stepped back and realized her son was telling her something very "profound." Speaking with Matt Lauer she said, "I thought about how much competition we have in our life. How much competition we do everyday."

"Andre Agassi is a GREAT competitor. Look at how he ended his career...the joy and pleasure... that's healthy competition. I'm not saying don't try to be the best you can be. If you are blessed by God and talent and you can achieve greatness in that field, GREAT! But what do we put in our children that says to them they have to be number one," Curtis asked?

She then goes on to read excerpts from her new book.

What Jaime Curtis had to say really caught my attention. I hate to say it, but too many adults here in America have not matured, have not grown up. How can they effectively lead a generation of young people today if they are not cool, collected, and poised during tense situations? Or too busy living their dreams through their young ones, pushing them to the extreme? Meanwhile, our kids are saying STOP!

As a nation today, we face a bigger threat than trying to aggressively compete with others for the top spot. For one, there is the issue of terrorism, and many other important issues to take a stand on that concern our society. In the case of the football incident, if some are too busy fighting over petty issues, we will be unable to come together to address more serious issues and put our energy where it should be concentrated.

Until adults start acting like they are grown and mature, I'm afraid our society will continue to show a level of vulnerability where it should not be. Parents, adults, please be the positive, strong influence that our current generation begs to see. They should not witness adults acting like thugs or obsessive slave drivers in the pursuit of perfection. There is more to life than that.

How do we make sure our kids succeed? By being there for them, giving positive reinforcement and words of wisdom (and when needed, a rebuke). Life is not perfect, and we shouldn't expect our kids to be that way.

Note: On the fifth anniversary of September 11, 2001, a healing message:
The Father's Love Letter to You
http://www.fathersloveletter.com/fllpreviewlarge.html


Related Reading:

Football coach who tackled kid gets fired:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14681867

Jamie L. Curtis discusses her new book on the Today Show:
http://video.msn.com/v/us/msnbc.htm?f=00&g=d72279bc-8dcc-493f-8446-d3687f4cc6ef&p=Source_Today%20Show%20Books&t=m5&rf=http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12065856/&fg=

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